Mad World?

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow. Lines from one of my favorite songs, Mad World. I don't know if my interpretation is right, but to me this song is about a monotonous life. One bad day and everything hits you hard, you realize that the life you've lived has nothing to do with the dreams you had as a kid. You've painted your life grey, not 50 shades, just one. That's how monotonous you've become. This isn't about you, it's about me. Selfish? Maybe. My life has been on autopilot, wake up, curse studies, binge, eat, sleep. What happened to all that enthusiasm in learning something new? What happened to that awe when I learnt something new in science? I've been fooled into believing that this is the life I want. I blame no one but me. My foolishness. My naivety. You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost. Another line from one of my favorites, Bad Day. Is my playlist nothing but a reflection of my mood? I'd like to think so. I find solace in these songs. Sometimes they uplift me, sometimes they remind me of the dreams I've killed. Do I qualify now as a murderer? The society taught me not to be an engineer, but a murderer. Deep words. Life is beautiful. Life is about hope, light at the end of the tunnel. That's my pursuit for a while. I'm not alone. I've got me!